Adapted from domesticsuperhero.com
Wings of Pure Chaos (That Are Actually Perfect)
- 2 lbs chicken wings, drums and flats separated (defrosted if frozen — a frozen wing is a betrayal)
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp onion powder
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp black pepper
- 1 unresolved grudge, finely held
- 1First: are your wings separated into drums (the little drumstick-looking ones) and flats (the two-boned slab ones)? If they're still attached as full wings, bend each one until you find the joint, then cut straight through it. You're a surgeon now. A chaotic, unpaid surgeon.
- 2Pat the wings completely, aggressively, almost rudely dry with paper towels. Every last drop of surface moisture is the enemy of crispiness. Wet wings steam instead of crisp and you will be disappointed and it will be your fault and I will know.
- 3Toss the dry wings into a large bowl and drizzle the olive oil over them. Toss to coat every surface — that's about 2 lbs, roughly the weight of a large hardcover book, all needing a thin slick of oil.
- 4Sprinkle the garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, salt, and pepper directly over the wings. Toss them until every single piece is coated. Flip them, tumble them, give them a little spin. Coat. Every. Wing.
- Break!Set down the bowl, walk to your fridge, and give it three firm, appreciative pats. It kept the chicken safe. It deserves acknowledgment.
- 5Preheat your air fryer to 400°F for 2 minutes. Yes, you preheat an air fryer. Yes, it matters. People who skipped this step are eating sadness right now.
- 6Place the wings in a single layer in the air fryer basket. They must NOT be touching each other — hot air needs to circulate all the way around each wing or they won't crisp up. Cook in batches if you have to. Batch cooking is not defeat; it is wisdom.
- 7Cook at 400°F for 10 minutes. Do not open it. Do not peek. Trust the machine and trust yourself, which I know is a lot to ask right now, but you're doing great.
- Break!Go find a window and locate one (1) bird, tree, cloud, or passing stranger. Observe it for five seconds. Return.
- 8When the timer goes off, open the basket and carefully flip every single wing over. Use tongs — the basket and wings are extremely hot and your fingertips have feelings. Close it back up and cook for 8 more minutes at 400°F.
- 9Pull the wings out. They should be golden, crackling, and frankly gorgeous. If you want to check doneness, internal temp is 165°F, but honestly these are wings in a 400°F box for 18 minutes — you're good. Serve immediately, because waiting is a crime against crunch. You did it. You actually, genuinely did it. I'm not emotional. The paprika is just in the air.